Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is a common issue and can make us feel less then. As moms, we worry about our children and if we are doing enough for them. This can increase our anxiety and affect our overall mental health. Know you are not alone when if you have these thoughts!
Causes of Mom Guilt
We can feel mom guilt for almost any reason. We don't feel like we are spending enough time with our kids, we don't feel we are spending enough quality time with them, we feel guilty for working or not working, we feel like we are giving them too much screen time but that is the only way we can get a break. Then we feel guilty for wanting a break. The list goes on and on. When in reality we are doing our best and our children feel seen and loved. Give yourself a break and remember you are doing enough.
Is Something Wrong?
We often feel like we are doing something wrong but remember that the way we live our lives today is not the way mothers lives were less than 100 years ago. Our duties as mothers that we have today have not changed much but our worlds have. Women used to be responsible for our children and homes with few other responsibilities. In most cases, we are still the default parent, responsible for more of the housework in addition to working, self care, and a social life. Try to remember that our current expectations were not meant for our modern lives. As mothers, we can only do so much and it is unfair to expect yourself to balance everything. Be kind to yourself!
Regulating Mom Guilt
What can you do to combat the guilt that you frequently feel? One of the best things you can do is recognize that many of the thoughts you have are irrational. You cannot do and be everything for everyone. If your children know they are loved and cared for, you are doing something right. You can also reach out to your family and friends for help. This can make things easier to balance. With all of the distractions in our world can cause us to feel guilty because our attention is being pulled all over the place. If you feel this way, dedicate specific times where you can truly connect with your kids. Put the laptop away, the phone down and focus your attention solely on them. This can help you feel less guilty about other times you need to do other things.
Perfection
In the end, your child(ren) only need you. It is ok for them to see your flaws and that you are a human just like them. They do not need a perfect version of you, they just need you.